The Carlisle Mosquito Online

Friday, November 20, 2009


A taste of Primary rib

Come early December, most of us will experience a phenomenon that, at least in Massachusetts, comes around only a few times in our lives: a competitive Primary Election for a senate seat.

In this case, we’ll be determining the successor to the late Senator Ted Kennedy, who had held his seat since 1962 – a time when I was trying to dance the mashed potato, and the Red Sox roster consisted of 24 white guys and Pumpsie Green. Combine Kennedy’s tenure with John Kerry’s run of more than 25 years, during which time he faced but one Primary opponent, Ed O’Reilly (remember him?), and for all practical purposes the last time Democrats had a “real” chance to express their preference in senatorial representation is but a distant memory.

Oh sure, Dems could always express displeasure with either of these candidates by voting for the Republican sacrificial lamb du jour (excepting, perhaps, Mitt Romney and Bill Weld, who both put up reasonably effective fights), but a protest vote like that would be akin to ordering liver and onions for dinner because the menu only features sirloin steak, not prime rib. So, short of enacting term limits, it’s critical that Dems make the best choice possible next month as the opportunity may not come around again until twitter is once again something a bird does.

With that in mind, I’ve extensively researched each candidate’s strengths and weaknesses, and present them here in order to help all Carlislean Democrats make the most of this rare event.

Michael Capuano

Strengths: Knows Washington. Knows Washington. Knows Washington.

Weaknesses: Knows Washington. Knows Washington. Knows Washington . . . and brags about it.

Martha Coakley

Strengths: Speaks her mind. A legal eagle. Of the female persuasion.

Weaknesses: Her mind is solidly wishy-washy. Goes by the (law) book. Of the female persuasion.

Alan Khazei

Strengths: Track record of public service. Great organizer. Seems like a nice guy for an Iranian.

Weaknesses: Is a nice guy. Thinks the vote will be about issues. Iranian?

Stephen Pagliuca

Stregths: Has created lots of jobs. Has lots of money to spend. Is willing to spend it on lost causes.

Weaknesses: Has axed lots of jobs. Is just another rich, white guy. Once ate liver and onions at Mitt Romney’s house.

I hope this synopsis helps you to choose wisely. Remember, the likely Republican opponent, Scott Brown, is waiting. And from what I hear, he ain’t chopped liver. ∆

The Democratic Primary is Tuesday, December 8 and the election is Tuesday, January 19.

© 2009 The Carlisle Mosquito