The Carlisle Mosquito Online

Friday, March 1, 2002

Features


Silly things

Did you ever stop in your tracks and think, "That's just silly, and I don't understand it at all"? One rainy Sunday morning this past summer, I found myself standing in the doorway of our church with my umbrella in my hand, staring at the light drizzle that was coming down and keeping us from going sailing. My thoughts were what brought me up short. I remember thinking, "Is it wet enough to be worth opening the umbrella and getting it all wet?" What a silly thought, umbrellas are supposed to get wet in order to keep you dry. Believe it or not, I raced for my car, got wet, but kept the umbrella nice and dry.

That set me to thinking about other "silly things". Do you remember being told not to wear underwear with holes in case you have to go to the hospital? I'm sure that the condition of your underwear has a much lower priority than the condition of the patient.

People wear belts and suspenders at the same time. Some boats have sails and motors. Why be just half safe? Sweet and sour sauce is a name that always puzzles me. Same for jumbo shrimp. Did you ever think about why you comb your hair before turning in for the night? Surely the pillow isn't going to be careful of your hair, and besides it is dark and everyone is now asleep.

How many times have you seen someone order a hamburger, French fries, and a dessert, and then ask for a diet coke? And speaking of fitness, how about the guy who hires someone to mow his lawn so that he can go to the fitness club and get some exercise? Same thing goes for dogs and dog walkers.

Do you tuck money away in the back of your wallet so you won't spend it? This is the same wallet you are using to spend money. Leave the money at home. Speaking about money, how about buying things just because they are on sale? Whether you need it or not. I can't afford to save money that way, although sometimes I am guilty of doing that very thing.

Here's something that stopped me in my tracks. I was driving through Lexington early this fall. As I passed one of those old colonial houses, I spotted a woman all dressed up in colonial garb raking the lawn. Now, what's wrong with this picture? She was using a bright green plastic rake.

Convertibles with air conditioning seem to be a contrasting concept. How about your house? We build a box to shelter us, and we heat it in the winter. Then we install another smaller box which we cool for our food. But in this cool box, we have another still smaller box in which we warm the butter. Makes perfect sense to me.


2002 The Carlisle Mosquito